Desires of My Heart

For all of us who have encountered unexpected obstacles, fears, or pain as we long to be a part of God's plans, Psalm 37:4 is one of those amazing promises: Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. When the Holy Spirit breathes upon these words, hope can rise from ashes and strength from sorrow. It's like seeing again a glimpse of the finish line and the prize at the end. It is also a reminder that we are not alone on this journey; our Creator is both interested and involved in each detail.

Recently, I began to ponder this verse again. Like most of us, I have dreams that I have carried around for a long time, even decades. Dreams of places to go, activities to do, goals to accomplish. Desires to be a part of a Kingdom bigger than myself. And as I have put my delight in the Lord, these desires have been fulfilled in many unexpected ways. I have even done things I never would have dreamed of - things that only God knew that I would desire. You see, only our Creator really knows our depths and what we would desire if we saw all things clearly.

This time, as I asked myself what my secret petitions really are - what I truly long for - I realized that the answer had very little to do with places and activities. In fact, it had nothing at all to do with who I am or what I like to do. Rather, it had everything to do with my Creator and what He wants for me. Seasons of shaking and pruning and growth have pushed me further into His arms and I am beginning to realize how much deeper my desires lie.

More than the physical, tangible details, I desire an ever-deepening faith to trust my Father's perfection in any situation, regardless of what I see or need. I desire to experience more and more of His peace as I confidently wait for His plans to unfold. I desire to obey quickly and quietly, even when it hurts or makes no sense. I desire to truly display His character: to love endlessly and selflessly.

I am realizing anew that my greatest desire to be one with God and, amazingly, He desires to be one with me (John 17). This being the case, the promise of Psalm 37:4 is even more astounding: The more I delight in my Father, the more I will be one with Him. And the more I am one with Him, the more delighted I will be. What a wise God.

P.S. (...if I can do that on a blog....)
On my drive home from the library, after posting this column, I realized that this stripping away of my physical desires to once again reveal my deepest desire is actually an answer to a verse I recently started praying again:

I pray my love may abound yet more and more, and extend to its fullest development in knowledge, understanding, and discernment. I pray that I will display this love in greater depth in my relationships with both God and man so that I may surely learn to sense what is vital, and to approve and prize what is excellent and of real value. I long to recognize the highest and the best.... (Phil. 1:9-11)

Thank you, Father. You are the highest and the best.
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